I can’t explain the curiosity I have as I search for information on an individual. They can be immediate family or a distant relative, the feelings are the same. A curious excitement comes over me as I dig deeper into the individual’s story.
I remember in 6th grade when we were first introduced to family trees. It started out as an uncomfortable assignment thanks to an under educated student teacher, but that is a story for another time. As I furthered myself along with the project I began to see my grandparents more as “people” and less like my perfect childhood ideal up on a pedestal. Until then it never occurred to me that my grandparents went through real life experiences. Partly because some things you do not speak of, especially to a child but partly because I was so naïve, I had on the proverbial rose color glasses on.
As I grew I became more observant and my parents opened up more yet there is so much that they did not even know. I guess that is the excitement of finding a story or information that has been hidden for so long.
And while I was taking my adopted family off the ideological pedestal, I realized that I needed to pick up my biological family of the thrashing room floor. I realized that deep down I had some prejudices in regards to my biological mother, her mother and whomever my father was/is. I had formed my subconscious opinions about these people, for better or worse my people. And the raw emotion of this realization was a bit hard to take. Nine years ago I set out on this journey to discover all I could about my blood lines and family ties and really what I discovered was me through the story lines of the Reynold’s, Green’s , Totman’s, Walkers and all the others who intertwined to form the roots from which I come.
I recently offended someone close to me because I have expressed an interest in my biological roots. This individual was ok with me sharing my discoveries within my adoptive family tree but as soon as I started sharing what I have unearthed of my biological family they were put off and shut down the conversation. I am still trying to see from their point of view even though that is not reciprocated from them.
I took a couple of months off from doing any researching or writing as a way to regroup from such a low point for me. I was so excited and to have that excitement crushed it was a hard blow. My dear husband helped me talk through my hurt and set me back on course.
My zeal comes from a place of excitement, curiosity, a passion for history and a desire to document for my children (and anyone else who is interested) just where their roots extend, and that includes all roots paternal, maternal, adopted and biological.
I am excited to begin 2017 with a fresh outlook and ready to discover all I can.
Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him…Colossians 2:7