Week 12 Misfortune
It seems that for all the answers you get when researching your family you get twice as many questions. People and stories you thought you knew take on a new look when you find as Paul Harvey would say “The rest of the story”.
This is very true for my great grandmother Nina “Pichan” Dellray. (November 3, 1893 – November 8, 1979)
Gigi Nina was born in Metz, Presque Isle, Michigan. My Grandma Helen called her Ma and always spoke fondly of her. Grandma and Gigi shared a close connection throughout life culminating in their passing from the same disease, Alzheimer’s.
I did not know Gigi Nina but felt that through stories I had an understanding of her. Now that I am older and I have discovered some other stories I find an even closer connection as we both were not raised by our biological family.
Nina’s early years are speckled with questions. My father and Grandma Helen talked about Nina not being raised by her parents. It seems that the family that GiGi Nina was placed with was not at all kind to her. Because of this there was not a lot of information shared about that family. My father has thought that her last name was her adopted name but after researching I found that Pichan was her birth name.
Her father was Martin Clark Pichan (1830-1911) and her mother was Augusta Caroline Whilhelmine Hoeft ( 1844 – ? anytime between 1893 and 1911). After doing some digging into Nina’s hints on ancestry I discovered she had a sister named Emma Line (1894-1926). She was a few years older and had passed away in 1926. It seems that Nina never talked about her because my father never knew of her.
I discovered that Nina also had other siblings. Johann Wilhelm Pichan (1884-1904), Otto Hermann Gustav Pichan (1886-1966), Herman Wilhelm Conrad Pichan (1888-1942). Her Father was married previously to Henriette Weiss (1843-1882). In total Marin had a total of 10 children. Yet Nina never talked about them. Why?
It appears that tragedy struck Martin Clark Pichan in 1882 when his wife passed away and while he remarried he took to drinking heavily. It is said that it was because of this drinking that Augusta left him and the children. As I am not able to find a death date I only have theories. It seems that she “disappeared” the same year that Nina was born. As a mother I would hate to think that she left her children. For whatever reason she is not around and Martin could not take care of him let alone small children. The younger children were sent to live with other families throughout Michigan. Many are documented among these families as early as the 1900 census. Emma told her family that the Harris’ that she was adopted by did not treat her well. It is also believed that the family Nina was placed with also was cruel. Nina never spoke the name of the family she was with and I am not able to find her in any census.
It is sad to see that this family father, mother and children were not together and that for many of them life was rough and even tragic. During this time in history we see the separation of families often.
While Nina’s early years were spattered with misfortune she was able to move herself up.
By 1912 Nina was living in what I presume to be a boarding house, and her status is that of Student. I am not sure yet what she was going to school for but she became a domestic. It is possible she was being trained for that field.
As a domestic she was allowed in to some of the best homes in Flint. While there was no domestic of the year awards to document her worth, she often was given a piece of crystal or a dish as an extra thank you for her service.
In late summer of 1912 she married Roy Dellray *1892 – 1968) and they settled down and began a family. She continued working even after she had children. Their first child Clara Louise was born in 1914. But by January 1924 she filed for divorce. It was always believed that Roy filed for divorce because Nina had an affair but according to the divorce decree she filed and her reasoning was extreme cruelty.
This is a bit confusing because when you look at church records at this time Nina’s roll sheet says she was removed from the church rolls because of infidelity. This fits with what I was told by my father and grandmother as a child.
The divorce was finalized on April 12, 1924 and Grandma Helen Marguerite was born on May 13, 1924. She was told that her father was John West (1885 – 1941). Grandma had a few pictures of him that she often would pull out to look at. One was when she graduated from a nursing program while she was still in high school, he came to the ceremony. He died the year before she graduated high school and I think it bothered grandma some that she did not get to know him better.
Months after the divorce was finalized on August 9, 1924 Nina and Roy remarried. Roy and Nina had one more child Lillian Aileen (1929 – 1979) was born.
While Roy gave Grandma Helen his name their relationship was always strained. His nick name “Grumpy Dump” gives clues as to his personality. Nina and Roy remained married until his death in 1968 but it was not without some ups and downs.
Helen was working full time to help provide for the family while finishing high school. Helen and Nina had an apartment together and Roy and Lillian lived in the house that Helen was purchasing.
Life for Nina was a struggle from day one. Even though she was pulling herself up and bettering her position she sometimes made some bad choices yet somehow she seemed to push through. She did not let her circumstances get in the way.
In the last year of her life Nina faced the ultimate of fears for a mother, the death of a child. Her youngest daughter who struggled with some demons in her own life passed away in July of 1979. A few short months later Nina passed away.
Nina had a life and energy that kept her going no matter what her life saw. I do not believe that Nina was bogged down with the negative. She did not let life get in her way of living. A lesson I hope to take with me as I continue on in my life journey.